Wal-Mart Price Match-ups for 9/22-9/29

:: Grocery

Starbucks Fusions Coffee, $7.98
$1/1 Starbucks Natural Fusions Coffee, exp. 11-30-10 (SS 09/12/10)
$1.50/1 Starbucks Natural Fusion, exp. 11-30-10 (ALL YOU Sept ‘10)
As low as $6.48 ea. after coupon!

Cream of Wheat, $3.98
$1/1 Cream of Wheat Hot Cereal, exp. 12-31-10 (SS 09/19/10)
$2.98 ea. after coupon!

Hershey's Kisses, $2.50
$1/1 Select Hershey’s Special Dark Products, exp. 10-22 (SS 09/19/10)
$1.50 ea. after coupon!

Cheerios, $2.50
$0.55/1 Cheerios Original Cereal printable
$1.95 ea. after coupon!

Wheat Thins Stix, $2.98
$1/1 Wheat Thins printable
$1/1 Wheat Thins Crunch Stix, exp. 11-21-10 (SS 09/19/10)
$1.98 ea. after coupon!

Quaker Chewy Granola Bars, $2
$1/2 Quaker Chewy Granola Bars printable
$1/2 Quaker Chewy Granola Bars, exp. 11-13-10 (RP 09/19/10)
$1.50 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

Del Monte Canned Vegetables, $0.96
$1/5 Select Del Monte Canned Products, exp. 11-15-10 (RP 09/19/10)
$0.76 ea. wyb 5 after coupon!

Del Monte Specialties Vegetables, $1.23
$1/2 Select Del Monte Canned Specialties Products, exp. 11-15-10 (RP 09/19/10)
$0.73 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

Nescafe Specialty Sticks, $2.98
$1/1 Nescafe Taster Choice Stick Pack, exp. 12-12-10 (RP 09/12/10)
$1.98 ea. after coupon!

Zatarains Rice Mixes, $1.46
$0.75/2 Zatarain’s Rice Mix, Pasta Mix or Frozen Meal printable
$1.09 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

Quaker Instant Oatmeal Packets, $2.54
$1/1 Select Quaker Oatmeal Products, exp. 12-31-10 (RP 09/12/10)
$1.54 ea. after coupon!

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:: Produce

Gala Apples, $1.17/lb.

Pumpkins, $3.98 each

Navel Oranges, $0.68 each

Hass Avacados, $0.64 each

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:: Meat/Seafood

Ground Beef, $2.43/lb.

Beef Chuck Roast, $2.38/lb.

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:: Refrigerated

Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls, $1.98
$0.40/2 Pillsbury Sweet Rolls or Grands! Sweet Rolls printable
$0.40/2 Pillsbury Sweet Rolls, exp. 11-13-10 (SS 08/22/10)
$1.78 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

Pure Almond Milk, $2.98
$2/2 Silk Pure Almond Almondmilk, exp. 11-30-10 (SS 09/19/10)
$1.98 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

Dannon Yogurt (32 oz.), $2.24
$1/1 Dannon Yogurt Product printable
$1.34 ea. after coupon!

Jell-O Pudding Snack Cups, $2.28
$1/1 Select Jell-O Refrigerated Products, exp. 10-19 (SS 9/19/10)
$0.50/1 Select Jell-O Products, exp. 10-31 (ALL YOU Sept ‘10)
As low as $1.28 ea. after coupon!

Country Crock Butter Spread, $1.88
$0.40/1 Country Crock Product printable
$0.40/1 Country Crock Spread, exp. 9-30 (ALL YOU Aug ‘10)
$1.48 ea. after coupon!

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:: Frozen

New York Texas Toast, $2.14
$1/2 New York Frozen Garlic Bread, exp. 12-19-10 (SS 09/19/10)
$1.64 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream (Pint), $2.98
$1/2 Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream, Frozen Yogurt or Sorbet printable
$1/2 Select Ben & Jerry’s Frozen Items, exp. 10-17 (RP 09/19/10)
$2.48 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

Green Giant Steamers, $1.25
$0.50/2 Green Giant Valley Fresh Steamers printable
$1 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

Gortons Fish Sticks, $3.82
$0.50/1 Gorton’s Item printable
$3.32 ea. after coupon!

P.F. Chang At Home Meal Kits, $6.75
$2/1 P.F. Chang’s Home Menu Meals For Two, exp. 12-5-10 (RP 09/12/10)
$4.75 ea. after coupon!

Stouffers Family Size Lasagna, $6.74
$1/1 Select Stouffer’s Entrees printable
$5.74 ea. after coupon!

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:: Beverages

Juicy Juice Bottles, $3.28
$1/2 Juicy Juice Product printable
$1/2 Nestle Juicy Juice, exp. 10-31-10 (RP 08/01/10 #2)
$2.78 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

Nestle Pure Life Water Bottles (28 ct.), $3.48
$1/2 Nestle Pure Life Purified Water Multipack printable
$2.98 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

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:: Baby Items

Aveeno Baby Lotion, $4.64
$1/1 Aveeno or Aveeno Baby Product printable
$2/2 Aveeno Product, exp. 9-30-10 (SS 06/20/10)
$3.64 ea. after coupon!

Johnson's Baby Wipes, $2.64
$1/1 Johnson’s Baby/Natural Item, exp. 11-21 (RP 9/12/10)
$1.64 ea. after coupon!

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:: Health & Beauty

St. Ives Body Lotion, $2.97
$1/1 St. Ives Body Lotion, exp. 10-31-10 (SS 09/19/10)
$1.97 ea. after coupon!

L'oreal Go Clean Facial Cleansers, $4.97
$1/1 L’Oreal Paris Go 360 Clean printable
$1/1 L’Oreal Go Clean, exp. 12-12-10 (RP 09/19/10)
$3.97 ea. after coupon!

Lubriderm Lotion, $6.27
$1/1 Lubriderm Body Lotion, Cream or Ointment Product printable
$5.27 ea. after coupon!

Cetaphil Facial Cleansers, $5.47
$2/1 Cetaphil Product printable
$3.47 ea. after coupon!

Clean & Clear Astringent, $3.97
$1/1 Clean & Clear Products
$2/1 Clean & Clear Product printable
$1/1 Clean & Clear Product, exp. 10-31-10 (SS 08/01/10)
As low as $1.97 ea. after coupon!

Aveeno Body Lotion, $6.47
$3/2 Aveeno Positively Nourishing Body Care printable
$2/2 Aveeno Lotion printable
$4.97 ea. after coupon!

Aveeno Positively Ageless System, $39.97
$10/1 Aveeno Ageless Vitality Product printable
$29.97 ea. after coupon!

Prevacid (14 ct.), $9.56
$2/1 Prevacid 24 Hour Product printable
$4/1 Prevacid 24HR Product, exp. 10-15-10 (SS 09/19/10)
As low as $5.56 ea. after coupon!

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:: Household Cleaning

Oxi Clean Powder, $9.98
$1/1 Oxiclean Versatile Powder printable
$1/1 OxiClean Versatile Powder, exp. 11-30-10 (SS 09/19/10)
$8.98 ea. after coupon!

Oxi Clean Laundry Pre-Treat, $2.64
$1/2 Oxiclean Pre-Treater, exp. 11-30-10 (SS 09/19/10)
$2.14 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

Scotch Brite Sponges, $0.98
$1/2 Select Scotch-Brite Products, exp. 10-31-10 (SS 09/19/10)
$0.24 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

Finish Electrasol (20 Ct.), $2.97
$0.50/1 Finish / Electrasol Automatic Dishwasher Detergent printable
$2.47 ea. after coupon!

Air Wick Refills (2 ct.), $4.98
$1 off Air Wick Scented Oil Refill, exp. 9-26-10 (SS 08/15/10)
$3.98 ea. after coupon!

Air Wick Warmer Unit, $1.68
FREE Air Wick Warmer wyb Scented Oil Refill, exp. 9-26 (SS 8/15/10)
FREE with purchase of Air Wick Refills!

Lysol Fabric Spray, $4.50
$1.50/1 Lysol Fabric Mist, exp. 10-12-2010 (SS 09/12/10)
$3 ea. after coupon!

Airwick Freshmatic Sprayer, $6
$4/1 AirWick Freshmatic Compact i-Motion Kit, exp. 10-10 (SS 8/29/10)
$2 ea. after coupon!

Sparkle Paper Towels (2 ct.), $2.73
$1/2 Sparkle Paper Towels printable
$1/2 Sparkle Paper Towels, exp. 10-18-10 (RP 09/19/10)
$2.23 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

Angel Soft Toilet Paper (6 double rolls), $3.56
$0.50/1 Angel Soft Toilet Paper printable
$1/2 Angel Soft Bath Tissue, exp. 12-19-10 (RP 09/19/10)
$3.06 ea. after coupon!

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:: Pet Care

Goodlife Cat Food, $4.48
$1/1 The Goodlife Food For Cats printable
$1/1 The Goodlife Recipe Food for Cats, exp. 10-30-10 (RP 09/19/10)
$3.48 ea. after coupon!

Pedigree Plus Canned Dog Food, $0.97
B1G1 Pedigree Food for Dogs, Cans, exp. 12-12-10 (RP 09/19/10)
$0.48 ea. wyb 2 after coupon!

Temptations Cat Treats, $1.74
B2G1 Temptations Treats For Cats printable
B2G1 Temptations Treats for Cats, exp. 10-31-10 (RP 09/19/10)
$1.16 ea. wyb 3 after coupon!

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King Soopers Price Match-ups 9/22-9/29

King Soopers 9/22/10-9/28/10!

by Gwen on September 21, 2010

Quick Tip: King Soopers doubles coupons up to $1, so if you have a .40 coupon it will double to .80. A .75 coupon will double to $1, and a .25 coupon will double to .50!

King Soopers also gives a .05 per bag credit, so don’t forget to bring your own bags! See anything I missed? Leave a comment to let me know!
Meat

London Broil $2.88/lb B

Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts or Thighs $1.88/lb C

80% Lean Ground Beef $1.88/lb C
Produce

Organic Jonagold Apples .99/lb B+

Winter Squash .50/lb B

Spinach $1/bunch C

Romaine, Bib, Red or Green Leaf Lettuce .88 C

Organic Fingerlong Potatoes 2lb Bag $2.50 B

Yellow Onions 3lb bag $1 B+
Grocery



Pepperidge Farm Cookies $1.98
http://www.pepperidgefarm.com/News.aspx
=.98 A-

Pillsbury Grands!, Crescent or Sweet Rolls $1.67
-.50/2 or .75/2 Pillsbury Coupon or $1/2 Pillsbury Coupon or .35 MQ (9/12 GM) or .75/2 (9/12 GM)
-.50/2 Cellfire eCoupon
-.50/2 Shortcuts eCoupon
=.67 B

Post Cereal 11-20oz $1.98
-.75 Post Marshmallow Pebbles Coupon or MQ (9/12 SS)
=.98 B-

Pillsbury Sweet Moments $2.50
-$1.50 Sweet Moments Coupon
-$1 Cellfire eCoupon
=FREE! A

Starbucks Coffee 12oz $6.99
-$1.50 Starbucks Coupon or MQ found in the September issue of All You Magazine *if Natural Fusion is included
=$5.49 A-
Dairy

Silk White Wave Soymilk or Pure Almond Milk 64oz $2.50
-.75 Silk Coupon
=$1.50 B-

Fage Total Yogurt $1.25
-.50 Fage Coupon
=.25 A-

Yoplait Yogurt 4-6oz .50 each
-.50/4 Yoplait Coupon
-.40/6 Cellfire eCoupon
-.40/6 Shortcuts eCoupon
=.20 each wyb (6) B

Land O Lakes Butter 1lb $2.48
-.50/2 Land O Lakes Coupon or HERE
=$1.99 C-

Kraft Cheese 5-8oz Bars or Shreds or 16ct Singles $1.99
-$1 Kraft Coupon
=.99 A-
Frozen

Red Baron Pizza $2.99
-$1 Red Baron Pizza or MQ (8/29 SS) *if Pan Pizza is included
=$1.99 A-

Ben & Jerry’s 16oz $2.99
-$1/2 Ben & Jerry’s Coupon or MQ (9/9 RP)
=$2.49 D+

Freschetta Pizza $4.49
-$1 Freschetta Coupon
=$3.49 C+

Pillsbury Toaster Strudel 10-11.5oz $2
-.50/2 or .75/2 Pillsbury Coupon or $1/2 Pillsbury Coupon or .35 MQ (9/12 GM)
-.50/2 Shortcuts eCoupon
=$1.25 each B

Green Giant Vegetables 7-10oz $1.25
- .60/3 MQ (9/12 GM)
-.60/3 Cellfire eCoupon
-.60/3 Shortcuts eCoupon
=.52 each B+
Household

Shout Cleanser $2.48
-.55 or $2/2 MQ (8/8 SS) *regional value
=$1.48 at best B

All Laundry detergent 40 Load $2.99
-$1 All Coupon *if Oxi-Active is included
=$1.99 A-

Ziploc Food Storage Containers 1-5ct $2.50
-$1.50/2 Ziploc Coupon
=$1.75 B-

Walgreen's Price Match-ups 9/19-9/26

So many people ask me how I save so much money on groceries. The key is to match your coupons to the weekly sales. I have been couponing for about 10 months and I already have cut our grocery budget from $100 a week to $100 or less a month. My sister Kerri said I should put some of this information on my blog and help other people learn to save some serious bucks!So I am taking her advice. I hope some of you are able to get your feet wet and try this out for yourself.

Below is this weeks price match-ups for Walgreens. I have also posted a 3 transaction scenario that will only have you paying only $5 out of your own pocket. Coupons I used are in red. If you are new to using coupons, I have also included some very valuable information at the bottom of this post. Good luck, and please feel free to ask me questions. I would love to help you.


Weekly Register Reward Deals

$1RR wyb (2) Frozen Meals including Stouffers 9.6-12oz, Lean or Hot Pockets 1-2pk, or Lean Cuisine 9-11.5oz 2/$5
-(2) $1 Hot Pockets Coupon (Facebook Coupon) *if Sideshots are included in the sale
=$1 each

$1RR wyb Nice ‘n Easy Perfect 10 Hair Color $8.99
-$2 MQ (8/29 PG)
=$5.99

$1RR wyb Crest Toothpaste 6.4oz or Oral-B Indicator Toothbrush $1.99
-BOGO MQ (8/15 RP or 8/29 PG) or $1 MQ (8/29 PG) *regional values
=FREE at best if your area got the $1 MQ

$1RR wyb Crest Pro-Health Mouth Rinse 1 Liter $3.99
-$1 MQ (8/29 SS)
=$1.99



$2RR wyb Kotex or U by Kotex 18pk tampons, 48-64pk Liners or 14-24pk Pads 2/$7
-$1 MQ found in the September issue of All You Magazine or $2/2 of $1.50/2 MQ (8/8 SS) or Kotex U Coupon
=$1.50 each at best

$1.50RR wyb ThermaCare HeatWrap (Single Neck, Shoulder & Wrist)$2.49
-$1 ThermaCare Coupon
=FREE!

$3RR wyb Beano 100ct, Citrucel 100ct or 16.9 or 30oz or Fiber choice 90ct $10.99
-$3 Fiber Choice MQ (9/19 RP)
=$4.99

$3RR wyb Prilosec OTC Acid Reducer 28ct $17.99
-$1 MQ (8/29 PG)
=$13.99

$5RR wyb Claritin Allergy 40ct Liqui-Gels or 45ct Tablets $24.-$5 MQ (8/29 SS)
=$14.99

$5RR wyb a Walgreens Heating Pad $12.99 AND Aleve Pain Relief 40ct Smooth Gels or 50ct caplets or Tablets $4.99
-$1 Aleve Coupon
=$11.98 for a heating pad and Aleve

$2RR wyb Vicks DayQuil & NyQuil Combo Pack 40ct or 2 Pack 10oz ea. $8.99
-$1.50 MQ (8/29 PG)
=$5.49

$2RR wyb (2) Tilex 32oz, Clorex 30-32oz, Liquid Plumr 32oz, Formula 409 32oz, or Green Works 22-32oz 2/$6


$1RR wyb (2) Glade Scented Oil Candles Glass Holder, Refillable Tin, 4 Pack Refills, Plugins Scented Oil Refill, Relaxing Moments Spray 9/7oz or Candle 4oz 2/$5
-(2) $1 or $2/2 or BOGO MQs (8/29 RP) or (8/22 SS) or found in the September issue of All You Magazine
=$1 each at best

$1RR wyb Electrasol 20pk or Jet-Dry 8.45oz $3.99
-.75 Jet Dry Coupon
=$2.24
Other Deals

Planters Peanuts 16oz or Flavor Grove Almonds 6oz 2/$5
-.75 MQ (8/29 SS)
=$1.75 each

Royal Gelatin 5/$1 with in-ad coupon

Quaker Quick-1 Minute Oats 18oz 2/$3
-$1 MQ (8/29 or 9/12 RP) *regional coupons
=.50

Morton Iodized Salt 26oz or Deerfield Farms Baking Soda 16oz 2/$1 with in-ad coupon

Gelsha Mushrooms 4oz or Madam Mandarin Oranges 11oz 2/$1 with in-ad coupon

Campbell’s Soup .79 with in-ad coupons
-$1.50/3 Campbell’s Coupon
=.29 each

Snack or Fun Sized Candy 2/$5
-$1/3 Candy Coupon
-$1/2 IVC found in the September Coupon Booklet
=$1.17 each

M&Ms 9.9-12.6oz $2.49
-$1/2 or (2) .50 MQ (8/29 RP) *regional value
-.50 IVC found in the September Coupon Booklet (will deduct $1 for buying 2)
=$1.49 each

Tident 18pc or Dentyne 9-12pc .79 with in-ad coupon
-$1/2 Trident Coupon (Facebook Coupon) or $1/3 MQ (9/12 SS)
-$1/2 IVC found in the September Coupon Booklet
=.42 Money Maker at best! *make sure to have other items in your order to cover the overage!

Crest Dental Care: Pro-Health or Sensitivity Clinical Toothpaste 4-4.1oz or Glide Floss 32.8-55yds $3.99
-.75 MQ (8/29 PG)
-$2 IVC found in the September Coupon Booklet
=$1.24

Right Guard Antiperspirant/Deodorant 1/8-4oz Buy One for around $3.99 (online price), Get One Free


Listerine Zero Mouthwash $4.99
-$2MQ (9/19 RP)
=$2.99

Reach Floss 55yds or Prevent Toothbrush .99 with in-ad coupon
-$1 or BOGO MQ (3/7 RP, 5/16 RP, or 8/1 SS) or Reach Coupon
=FREE at best!

Zegerid OTC Acid Reducer 14ct $10
-$4 MQ found in the August issue of All You Magazine or $3 MQ (8/15 SS)
-$10 Mail-in-Rebate that will print at the register
=$4 Money Maker at best!

Ricola Drops 19-24ct $1
-.50 IVC found in the September Coupon Booklet
=.50

Ajax Cleanser 14oz 2/$1 with in-ad coupon
-.50 MQ (8/15 SS) *regional coupon
=FREE!

Gain Dish Liquid 11oz .89 with in-ad coupon
-$1 MQ (8/29 PG)
=FREE!
Monthly Deals

$2RR wyb Carmex Moisture Plus Lip Balm .07 or .075oz $2
=FREE!

$4RR wyb Carmex Lotion $4.99
=.99

$2RR wyb Wisk laundry detergent 48 load $6.99
-$3 MQ (8/29 RP)
=$1.99!

$5 Scenario for the week of September 19th:
(scenarios never include tax as this will vary by region)

Transaction #1
Buy 1 ThermaCare Heat Wrap @ $2.49
- $1.00/1 ThermaCare Printable

Total After Coupon = $1.49

RRs Earned= $1.50

Transaction #2
Buy 1 Crest Toothpaste 6.4 oz. @ $1.99
Buy 3 Royal Gelatin @ $0.20 ea. (with in-ad coupon)
$1.00/1 Crest Toothpaste or Liquid Gel Coupon (PG insert 08/29/10)
Pay with $1.50 RR from above

Total After RRs= $0.09

RRs Earned= $1.00

Grand Total OOP=$1.58

Total Value= $5.08 with $1.00 Register Rewards remaining!

Keep rolling those RR’s for more savings!


Walgreens accepts the following types of coupons:

* Manufacturer's Coupons
* Internet/Printable Coupons
* Register Rewards
* Walgreens Roto Ad Coupons and Instant Value Coupons (IVC)

The following are guidelines and limits:

* Walgreens does not have an official coupon policy; however, they have responded to inquiries to give us an idea of their coupon policies.
* You can use one manufacturer's coupon and one Walgreens coupon on an item unless either coupon prohibits.
* Walgreens does not provide cash back if the coupon being used exceeds the price of the item being purchased. Walgreens will adjust the price of the coupon to match the price of the item.
* Managers have the right to impose a purchase limit as they deem necessary.
* Walgreens does not price match with other retailer, accept coupons from other retailers or coupons for products not carried in our stores and does not accept expired coupons.

FAQs for Shopping Walgreens

Q. Does Walgreens accept Internet printable coupons?
A. Yes. Walgreens accepts Internet printable coupons with a barcode, as well as manufacturer's coupons, Roto Ad Coupons and Instant Value Coupons (IVC) and Register Rewards.

Q. What are Register Rewards?
A. When you purchase certain items and/or a certain dollar amount of items at Walgreens, a coupon (Register Reward) will print out that is good on your next purchase at Walgreens. Combining Register Rewards with a great sale price and a manufacturer's coupon allows you to purchase items at the lowest possible price and stock up on necessities for minimal cost.

500 things they never tell you about being a Mom...The Holiday Chronicles

In an effort to hold up my end of the bargain in my mission to complete the "500 things they never tell you about being a Mother, I give you "The Holiday Chronicles." I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.



#61 Black Friday is very, very important.

#62 Shopping with your kids for their gift is only allowed until the kid is able to rat you out for eating an entire pound of fudge while you shopped.

#63 You will stand in line to purchase a cheap, Chinese-made animal that has a "code" for a mind-numbing online game. You may even wrestle one out of an elderly ladies hands in a Christmas Eve fit of desperation.

#64 If you are lucky enough to have a Christmas baby, be prepared for 15 hideous, green or red, "My first Christmas outfits."

#66 You will receive 15 hideous, green or red, "My first Christmas outfits" if your baby is born any other month than December.

#67 Pointsettas are poisonous. Donate them to your local cemetery. FYI...they are also poisonous for pets as well.

#68 You don't have to buy everything on the list. If your kid is a brat...maybe you shouldn't buy any of it.

#69 Teaching your children to give is the best gift you can offer.

#70 Stringing popcorn isn't as much fun as they make it look on "Little House on the Prarie."

#71 Babies don't care about Christmas. In fact most kids could care less until 3. So don't stress about having a perfect holiday.

#72 People will give your kids a ton of candy behind your back.

#73 It is physically impossible for a kid under 3 to not touch the Christmas tree.

#74 Christmas cookies are fun to make with your kids, but don't expect them to look like the ones Martha made on her show last week. You will be lucky if they are edible.

#75 Remember that joy you felt as a child when celebrating Christmas? It is nowhere near the joy you will feel when you watch your children experience it for the 1st time.

500 things they never tell you...The pregnancy chronicles

#41 Morning sickness on the side of the road can be mistaken for drunk in public by your local police authorities. This really happened to me! TWICE!

#42 There is no record of a 40lb baby...you just ate too many doughnuts during your 3rd trimester.

#43 You really have no idea how many people are going to see your vagina. The amazing part is, you could care less.

#44 You can be pregnant in your ass.

#45 You will pee all over yourself for the rest of your life after you have a baby.

#46 Throw away your underwear. That stain ain't coming out!

#47 When they tell you to push...a baby ain't the only thing that might come out.

#48 Hemorrhoids are for real, go ahead and buy the tucks!

#49 Your pregnant belly is a hand magnet.

#50 Rarely does your "water break" like it does on T.V.

#51 Sex is almost impossible. However, you are probably more horny than you have ever been in your life.

#52 You can't shave what you can't see.

#53 You leave the hospital with a baby and you still look pregnant.

#54 "Compliments" like.."wow your really starting to show". "Wow, your really big"
"Your ready to pop, must be due any day" In reality you are not due for another 8-12 weeks. I lied to strangers and said I was due any minute at 6 months along.

#55 After delivery your feet are bigger and they stay that way FOREVER!

#56 During pregnancy, words like 'mucas plug' and 'episiotomy' are acceptable dinner table topics.

#57 You will say or at least think horrible things about your husband during labor.

#58 You will want to bitch-slap the next person who asks you when you are due.

#59 Everyone has an opinion on what you should or should not do while you are pregnant.

#60 Stretch marks are NOT badges of honor. Oh yeah, they don't "fade" either!

500 things they never tell you about being a Mom

After the huge response to my blog post yesterday, I am inspired to continue writing about my observations as a Mother. So back by popular demand....here goes.

#21 It is a fun game to slowly walk down the aisle of the airplane with your toddler and watch the faces of horror as they plead with God that you choose a different seat.

#22 Some people will judge you for breastfeeding and the rest will judge you for formula feeding.

#23 You can slave over the stove for hours to prepare a meal and your kid will beg you for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches instead.

#24 You brag about your kid. It annoys people. You don't care.

#25 Kids don't care if you are sick, have cramps, or a New Year's Day hangover.

#26 Your kids embarrass you now...you will embarrass them later. It is a trade off.

#27 Buying batteries will deplete your savings.

#28 Your kids will want to see the inside of every bathroom at every restaurant, store, airplane, and church.

#29 You will consider using duct tape and paper towels when you run out of diapers. It is easier than going to the store.

#30 You believe your kid is brilliant, everyone else believes your kid is annoying and "too big for his britches."

#31 If you try to keep your kids from eating food off the floor, you will not only lose, you will lose your mind in the process.

#32 Kids get sick A LOT! Less if you breastfeed, but they will still get sick.

#33 Kids eat boogers and they could care less who sees them do it.

#34 Your kids think you know everything now and nothing later.

#35 Babies don't always smell that great.

#36 Hand-me-downs are vital in the financial survival of your family.

#37 It is fun to watch a baby eat a lemon wedge.

#38 Servers hate you! They cringe to see you seated in their section. They may consider plotting your death if you are the cool parent who orders your kid a virgin strawberry pina colada. Don't believe me? Order one and watch them try to not roll their eyes.

#39 You don't need to buy Dreft to wash your babies clothes. Hell, I sometimes forget to even use the cheap laundry soap I bought on double coupon day.

#40 All that cute crap you thought you really needed to register for your baby shower will rarely get used. REGISTER FOR DIAPERS!

500 things they never tell you about being a Mom

Because I have so many of my close girlfriends either pregnant or "pulling the goalie" this year, I thought I would offer my insight to the journey they are about to begin. So here is the first chapter of what I think will be a very useful and entertaining guide to being a first time Mother.

#1 You will lose hair on your head and grow hair on your face after pregnancy. Just accept it and schedule the waxing.

#2 It is socially acceptable to go to the grocery store in your pajamas to buy infant Tylenol at one in the morning.

#3 You will NEVER be able to watch a movie or television program about child abduction, childhood illnesses, or 'Children of the Corn' type story lines.

#4 If your husband says "Sure honey, I will get up with you at 3am to help feed the baby," HE IS A LIAR. Do not fall for this ploy by the childless man. It is a trap!

#5 You will learn to be okay with spit-up stains on your best blouse and Cheerios stuck in you hair.

#6 There is no "good time" for sex...take it where you can get it!

#7 You will begin choosing your restaurants based on their "Kids Eat Free" nights.

#8 Bribery is and always will be the best bargaining tool for a screaming toddler.

#9 Do you remember how people used to open doors for you and give you their seat on the bus when you were pregnant? Well, kiss that goodbye. These same people seem to suddenly go blind when you are hauling a baby,diaper bag and stroller. Doors that were held open for you while expecting, suddenly slam shut on your nose when they "don't see" you coming.

#10 It is useless to close the bathroom door...they are coming in whether you like it or not.

#11 It is easier to buy another car seat than it is to remove, wash, and replace the cover.

#12 You will begin to love Sesame Street. You have to or you will lose your mind.

#13 It is no big deal to get your baby's poop on your hands...Wash them and move on.

#14 It is considered "sleeping in" if your kids doesn't wake up until 7:30am

#15 You will take WAY TOO MANY pictures of your kids.

#16 Dad's are fun, Mom's are mean.

#17 Babies do not like it when you giggle them around too much after a feeding. I found this out the hard way.

#18 Grandma's will give your kids candy. They have been waiting for years to jack your kid up on sugar and send them home to you.

#19 Don't buy cheap diapers. Again, this a lesson I learned the hard way.

#20 you cannot get out of Wal-Mart without letting your kid ride that stupid mechanical horse. Always have quarters or suffer the consequences.

So there is 1-20 for you to think about for a while.